


Second Chances

by DizzyDrea



Category: JAG
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-20
Updated: 2010-01-20
Packaged: 2017-10-27 03:55:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/291365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DizzyDrea/pseuds/DizzyDrea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Harm hadn’t gone back to flying? What if Mac had asked him to stay, and he did? Where would they be ten years later?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Second Chances

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little something I wondered about after “Adrift.” I have no idea if the Ambassador is where the NATO Ball is held. It was just the most posh hotel I could think of in DC.
> 
> JAG and all its particulars is the property of Donald P. Belisarius, Belisarius Productions, Paramount Television, NBC Productions and a lot of other people who aren't me. I'm doing this for fun and for practice. Mostly for fun.

~o~

2030 EST  
NATO Ball  
Ambassador Hotel Ballroom  
Washington, DC

Captain Harmon Rabb, Jr. stood at the entrance to the ballroom, taking in the scene before him. It had been a while since he had been to the NATO Ball, but some things never changed.

The room was awash in soft light, and the sounds of light music mingled with the warm glow of quiet conversations around the room. Harm just stood for a bit, watching the scene unfold, until someone across the room caught his eye. Striding with purpose, he crossed to a table near the dance floor.

“Is this a private party, or can anyone join in?” he asked the group.

“Harm! I mean Captain!” Lt. Commander Bud Roberts exclaimed, extending his hand to shake Harm’s.

“Sir, good to see you,” Lt. Harriet Simms Roberts added, rising to hug her friend.

“Bud, Harriet, it’s good to see you too.”

“Captain,” Al Mattoni addressed his former colleague, a smile on his face. The two men shook hands as Harm turned to greet the woman at his side.

“Jackie, you’re looking lovely tonight,” Harm remarked with a smile before hugging her.

“I’ll bet you say that to all the girls,” Jackie Mattoni chided him.

“My turn,” exclaimed a gleeful and quite pregnant Carolyn Imes-Deavers.

“You look wonderful,” Harm informed her sincerely, a huge smile on his face as he hugged her.

“Better not say that too loudly, or my husband will get jealous!” They shared a laugh at that before Harm turned back to the rest of the group.

He waved at others he recognized around the table. The old friends greeted each other as if almost no time had passed. Lt. Jason Tiner, now a practicing JAG attorney, regaled the Captain and the group at large with his latest courtroom antics, and Harm insisted on being caught up on all the latest news about his godson, AJ Roberts.

Bud noticed that every few moments Harm’s gaze crossed the room, as if searching for something, or more accurately, someone.

A look of understanding passed across Bud’s face. “If you’re looking for her, sir, she’s out there,” he stated gently, turning his friend in the direction of the dance floor before giving him a shove.

Harm just smiled his thanks and slowly made his way to the edge of the dance floor. Pausing just a moment, he scanned the occupants until he spotted the person he was looking for.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw her swaying to the music. She hadn’t changed in his eyes. The long navy dress she wore shimmered in the low light, flattering in all the right places. She still wore her hair the same way, and his fingers itched to run through those silken tresses once more.

Shaking himself out of his momentary reverie, he stepped out onto the dance floor, his steps taking him quickly to where she danced with her partner. Harm immediately recognized who that was, and smiled at the older man as he approached.

Placing a hand to her back, Harm called out to her dance partner. “May I dance with the Colonel?”

Sarah Mackenzie’s world tilted on end for just an instant, and then righted itself. She knew that voice, had dreamed of nothing else except hearing it again after so many years. And the warmth of his hand on her back flooded her and caused a tingling sensation to build.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she stepped away from her partner and turned to look into the deep blue eyes of Harmon Rabb. Their eyes held for just a moment before Harm turned to her partner, his hand outstretched.

“Admiral, it’s good to see you.”

“Harm,” Admiral AJ Chegwidden returned the handshake enthusiastically. “I thought there for a while you weren’t going to make it tonight.”

“It was touch and go for a bit,” he explained, glancing at Mac, “but I managed to get away just in time. Mind if I borrow your lovely partner?”

The admiral just smiled and said, “Not at all,” before turning to rejoin the group at the table.

Mac took another deep breath as Harm again turned his full attention to her. Mess dress…well, it wasn’t dress whites and gold wings, but he was still devastatingly handsome in them.

“May I?” he asked quietly.

All Mac could do was nod her head before she was swept into strong, sure arms. They swayed to the music for a time, both just enjoying the feel of being in each other’s arms. It was Mac who found her voice first.

“I didn’t know you knew about my promotion.”

“I keep in touch with Bud and Harriet. They’re good about keeping me up to date on everyone,” he informed her easily.

“Oh,” was all Mac could think of to say. She didn’t know why, but it disappointed her just a little that he didn’t ask about her specifically.

His next words put her mind at ease. “I always ask about you, Mac.” When she looked up at him suddenly, with eyes bright, he continued. “Didn’t you know that?”

“No,” she whispered. “No, I didn’t.”

Mac stepped even closer and laid her head on his chest as they continued to dance. Harm’s arm surrounded her and held her close, his thumb tracing mind-numbing circles on her back. She could get lost in his embrace, as she well remembered. It would be so easy. But she wouldn’t allow that. Not until she knew where she stood.

As the music faded, to be replaced by another song, Mac pulled away slightly. “It’s warm in here,” she stated. “I think I’ll go get some air.”

She had intended to get away from Harm for a few minutes to gain some perspective back. She never could quite think straight when he was around. She was surprised when he spoke from her side.

“Mind if I join you?”

Not trusting herself to speak, she merely shook her head no and turned to leave. Harm picked up her hand and, tucking it firmly into the crook of his arm, led them to the veranda surrounding two sides of the building. There was no one outside, and they walked out a ways to escape the noise of the party.

The admiral and Bud, who by now had filled each other in on the happenings of the evening, noticed the pair walking through the double doors across the room. Bud raised his eyebrows and turned to Admiral Chegwidden, who was just standing there, a huge grin on his face.

“Sir?” Bud asked, confused at the smile on his CO’s face.

Slapping the younger officer on the back he asked, “Bud, do you believe in second chances?”

~o~

The din of the party in the background broke the hush of the garden area before them, but neither Harm nor Mac seemed to notice. As soon as they had gained the balcony, Mac released her hold on Harm’s arm and moved away from him to stand at the rail.

Harm just stood looking at her for long moments. The soft light from the moon overhead set her olive skin aglow. How well he remembered gazing at her when he thought she wasn’t looking, admiring the warm glow of her skin and the quiet serenity in her face.

Mac knew he was watching her and she felt self-conscious. She knew he’d gaze at her when he thought she wasn’t paying attention, and to tell the truth, she missed it. But she wouldn’t admit that unless he asked her, and she didn’t think he would.

Harm finally joined her at the railing, moving close to her, but keeping some distance between them to try to gauge her reaction to him.

“So where is the admiral’s wife?” Mac jumped at the sound of his voice. She’d been so lost in her thoughts that she had barely registered the fact that he had moved from his place near the doors.

Smiling sheepishly at her reaction, she turned to Harm. “Sydney had a conference to attend this week. Apparently, when she found out about the NATO Ball, she offered to stay but the admiral would have none of it. He knows how important her practice is to her.”

“I’m glad they found each other again,” Harm commented quietly.

Harm looked back out into the garden and remembered fondly that weekend at the admiral’s wedding. After he’d left to return to flying on the Patrick Henry, things had been awful between him and Mac. He’d been pleased to find out that Sydney had given the admiral another chance. When the admiral had called to ask him to be the best man at his wedding, he’d been reluctant, knowing Mac would be there. He nearly said no when he found out that Mac would serve as maid of honor, but the admiral prevailed and he’d agreed to come.

They had been thrown together that weekend, so they had to make peace, more out of self-preservation than anything else. Their friendship had survived, and they had managed to keep in touch, if only sporadically. It was a loss Harm felt keenly. He missed having someone to talk to. Skates, his RIO, understood him, but she wasn’t Mac. And no one else seemed to care as much.

Harm heaved a sigh. How had his life become such a mess?

“What’s that for, sailor?” At Harm’s startled look, Mac chuckled. “It was a pretty heavy sigh for such a pleasant night. Care to share?”

Harm contemplated for mere seconds. He knew what this evening might bring, and he had finally decided that, no matter what, he wasn’t going to let this chance slip by.

Turning to face her, he started quietly. “I was just thinking about the admiral’s wedding. That was a good weekend.”

“Yes, it was,” Mac returned sincerely.

She had been thinking the same thing just moments before she heard him sigh. She was glad he had come, glad they had cleared the air somewhat. It had broken her heart when she’d left him, even though she knew it was for the best. He needed to go back to flying, to find himself again, and she knew he would never do that if she were a part of his life. So she’d done the only thing she knew to do. She had asked him to stay and he had. Then she had asked him to go. She knew if they really had something important that he would be back.

But he hadn’t come back until the admiral had practically forced him to, and even then, they only gained back their friendship. Nothing more. She had grieved that for a long time, but finally had accepted that she and Harm were not meant to be together. But she just couldn’t bring herself to find someone else. Every time she tried, she ended up comparing him to Harm, and she found that they all suffered by comparison, so she just stopped trying.

“Why did you leave me?”

Harm’s words again startled her, but not because she didn’t know he was there. It was the one question they hadn’t discussed in the ten years since he’d returned to flying, and she supposed it was because he didn’t want to know. Now he was asking, and she felt hope begin to grow in her heart for the first time in many years.

Deciding on the direct approach, she began. “When I asked you to stay, to not go back to flying, I expected you to say no, but you stayed. Those next few months were bliss for me, Harm,” she looked into his eyes and saw something she couldn’t quite understand.

Taking a deep breath, she continued. “But I know you, better than you do yourself sometimes.” Reaching out, she placed a cool hand on his cheek. “You needed to go back and prove that you could still do it, and I wanted you to have that chance. But you wouldn’t leave me, so I left you,” she finished, expressing her thoughts of the last few minutes.

“You really did love me, didn’t you?” Harms voice held the incredulity he felt. No one had ever made that kind of sacrifice for him before, and it awed him to the core of his being. He hadn’t understood until this very moment, not really. Or maybe he hadn’t wanted to understand, only to feel the pain her leaving had created.

Mac smiled a watery smile at him as she dropped her hand back to her side. “Yes, I do love you, Harm.”

Now, looking into his eyes, she could see what he had been trying to hide only moments before: shame, longing, desire, love.

“You still love me?” He sounded like a small child and Mac’s heart broke just a little bit more, even after all these years.

Taking a deep breath, he turned from her to look out at the garden once more. When he turned back to her, his expression was sad, and when he started to speak his voice was even quieter than before.

“I wanted to come back to you,” he began, reaching out and taking her hand in his. “After the admiral’s wedding, when we made our peace, I wanted to quit flying, quit the Navy if I had to, to come back to you. When I got back, they told me I had made CAG. It was as if every dream I’d ever had was coming true. Well, all but one,” he chanced a glance at her face and saw her eyes bright with unshed tears.

Breathing deeply again he continued. “I didn’t have you to share it with,” he confessed, “and it felt so empty.”

“But you called,” she reminded him. “You talked for hours about how exciting this would be for you. I was so proud of you,” she squeezed his hand to punctuate her words.

“I was going to come back for you,” he blurted out in a rush. He was afraid that if he didn’t say it out loud now, he never would.

Taking in the surprised look on her face, a rueful grin spread across his own and he pressed on, choosing his words carefully.

“After everything settled down, I told myself I was going to come back to DC and win you back. Things never settled down. Weeks turned into months, and then months turned into years. I wanted to say something, but every time I tried, I found out that you were dating again and I couldn’t bear to ruin your happiness.”

“Oh Harm, none of them could ever replace you, what I feel for you inside, don’t you know that by now?”

“No, I don’t know anything for sure anymore.”

The distress in his voice was overwhelming for Mac. She did the only thing she knew to do, pulling him into her embrace, resting her head on his chest, holding him tightly, trying to convey all her emotions in one embrace.

Harm stiffened as she eased her arms around his neck, but then relaxed into the embrace, reveling in the feel of her warm body enfolded in his arms again, taking in the scent of her skin, the silkiness of her hair where it rubbed against his chin.

Leaning back, he tilted her chin up so that their eyes could meet. Her deep brown eyes held his for long moments, hoping to convey without words all that was in her heart. Mac’s gaze was penetrated by liquid blue pools, searching for something to confirm or deny what he hoped was going on.

Still seeing uncertainty in his gaze, Mac drew him closer to her, brushing her lips softly against his own, encouraging him silently when she knew words would no longer work. What began as a tentative kiss quickly escalated into a passionate embrace as long held emotions bubbled to the surface. Clinging to each other, their lips molded together, the kiss took on a life of its own.

When they were finally forced to break apart, more for lack of oxygen than lack of desire, Harm looked deeply again into Mac’s eyes.

“I still love you,” he whispered.

Mac’s heart soared at those words. Her face broke out into a heart-stopping smile and she hugged him tightly to her, resting her head again on his chest.

“I’m going to quit flying.”

Startled, Mac looked up, panic on her face. “No!” she cried.

“What do you mean, ‘no’?”

“I mean we did not just go through the last ten years over your flying to have you quit now.”

“But I want to be with you, and I can’t do that if I’m out there,” he cocked his head in the general direction of the rest of the world.

“Yes, you can, Harm,” she tried again in a much calmer voice.

“No, not if you want that good man, that great career and all those comfortable shoes,” he quoted her words from years ago back to her.

“I have all I want right here,” she assured him. Before he could speak again, she placed a finger to his lips to silence him. “I fell in love with you for who you are, and flying is part of that. I don’t want you to give it up for me, not again. You did that once and it nearly broke my heart. I can’t let you do that again.”

Harm sighed as Mac rested her head on his chest again. The beating of his heart seemed to soothe her, and when she looked up at him again, her face was calm, her eyes more peaceful than he had seen them in a long time.

“I guess I’ll have to tell the admiral no, then,” he tried, knowing that would get her attention.

“Admiral Chegwidden? What’s he got to do with this?”

“No, silly, not Admiral Chegwidden,” he replied, lightly tapping her nose with his finger. “Admiral Morris at the Pentagon. He’s offered me a post there, in the Surface Warfare office, as his aide. I want to take it. It’s time I come back and finish the life I started.”

Bending down he touched his lips to hers again, savoring the return of feelings he thought he’d buried long ago. Mac returned his kiss, filling it with all the love she felt for this man.

Slowly Harm pulled away and looked into Mac’s eyes. Giving her one of his flyboy smiles, the one that lights up the room, he told her, “I want to do this for us. You’ve given me a second chance at the life I thought I’d lost. I’m not going to pass that up. You with me?”

Mac’s smile could have lit up the entire hotel for the rest of the night. “When you put it like that, how can I refuse?”

“That’s my Marine,” he chuckled softly.

Mac’s face took on a dreamy expression as she took in what he’d just said. “’My Marine.’ I like the sound of that.”

Pulling her into another embrace, he simply said, “So do I.”

The sound of music returned to them on the balcony, and almost without thinking about it they began to sway to the song they could hear through the doors to the ballroom.

“We should probably go back inside,” Harm whispered in her ear.

“Not yet,” she told him and snuggled a little bit deeper into his embrace. “We have the rest of our lives to spend with our friends. I just want to be with you right now. Only with you.”

Harm’s smile put the moon to shame as he held Mac just a little bit tighter and continued to move to the music surrounding them on the night air.

~o~

Admiral AJ Chegwidden guided his partner across the dance floor with the precision of a well-planned campaign. His partner smiled up into eyes that were shining with love for her.

“I’m glad you came back early,” AJ told his lovely bride.

“I just couldn’t stand being without you one more minute,” Sydney told her adoring husband sincerely, hugging him to her as they swept around the floor.

Noticing motion out on the balcony, Sydney looked up to catch sight of Mac and a tall, rather handsome man in mess dress embracing and looking fondly into each other’s eyes.

“I see the Captain made it this evening,” she observed, smiling up at her husband mischievously.

“Yes, he did,” AJ responded, mirth dancing in his eyes. He had noticed Harm and Mac only seconds before his wife had, and secretly he was glad.

“Are you going to tell him about the transfer?”

AJ tried to look stern as he glanced down at Sydney, but his face broke out into a grin. “How did you know about that?”

“I overheard you talking to Tom Morris about a favor you wanted him to do for you. When I heard you mention Harm’s name, I just put one and one together, just like you were hoping to do.”

“Is that so?” he questioned her.

“Yes, and I must say, you did good tonight, AJ.”

“Why thank you, Mrs. Chegwidden,” the pride in his voice evident.

“I just have to ask why, after all these years?”

AJ regarded his wife with all the love in his heart as he spoke. “Everyone deserves a second chance.”

Sydney smiled up into her husband’s face as she placed a hand to his cheek and brushed her lips to his. “Yes, they do.”

~Finis


End file.
